The Kharmic balance of Football restored.

Last updated : 31 October 2004 By Martin Haythorne
Doolan
Red Card
The Kharmic balance in Football is a theory I've put forward for years now (as well at Tilting pitches to roll off injured players, wingback elastic and the Tom and Jerry centre forward theory).

At Oakwell John Doolan should have walked with a red, no question. The term " McPhail him" is now used on the Doncaster terrace whenever Doolan looks to tackle a midfielder that needs sorting right out which shows you just how bad that tackle was. Against Peterborough at Belle Vue Doolan recieved a straight Red card for what looked like a harmless collision with the Posh No4, Burton, and the assistantess referee (yes, she was a lady you know). Further investigation leaves us with the rumour that Burton attempted to headbut JD and the big fella kicked out in retaliation.

The Dark Gods of Northern Football must be appeased though, and Doolan's Red Card for the Burton incident will balance out the fact he didn't get one for the McPhail incident, end of story.

Referee's tend to be random in the eyes of some fans, or suspicously penalty giving to some teams like a Mr Riley we all read about. One must realise they are merely pawns on the scrabble board of the Dark Gods of Northern Football and hand out Kharmic retribution on their behalf. Surely you are not suggesting these ridiculous decisions are due to incompetence.

Thankfully, TDGONF(TM) could not stop a little ginger wizard like Paul Green , who by the time he scored had gone a shade of purple, slotting home a belter to ensure 3 points for Doncaster against a "Lady, you know!" assistantess Referee that had less clue about the game than Andy Townshend and a Referee who might as well got in the shower with Barry Fry afterwards.